This story highlights an issue my friend and co-worker had with a WordPress admin, and I added this paragraph to prevent any confusion.
When I first posted this, I also signed up for a WordPress account. Nothing happened for a week, but after reaching out to the forum, I discovered they had banned me—apparently because my URL contained the word “fuck”. I have never been banned for this before anywhere. It seems the anonymous WordPress overlords made a special exception just for me.
My guess? Only people with a miserable or non-existent sex life would come up with a ban reason this ridiculous. But honestly, I’m not surprised. Many in the U.S. have an oddly polarized and uptight relationship with sexuality—very different from Europeans. They also don’t seem to grasp that the name I use is an expression—an act of rebellion against political correctness. It’s just a way of speaking.
So, for the sake of clarity, here’s this explanation.
This is a mail dialogue I had in 2021 with an arrogant power hungry WordPress admin who deleted my account on WordPress.org and accused me of violating the Guide Lines and later in the dialogue for not complying to his commands.
I develop websites and have done this since 1999. Jumped the WordPress wagon in 2005 and I often – like many other seo and web developer business depend on having access to the WordPress Forum.
It’s unfortunate that Matt Bullenweg’s lack of leadership casts negative vibes over the entire community, creating scandals that cause businesses worldwide to lose money whenever he feels like bullying users or companies like Thesis and WP-Engine.
In this case, the Guidelines are ineffective, as the admins act according to their own preferences and interpret the rules however they see fit. They can’t separate their job from their personal emotions and needs – which is EXTREMELY unprofessional!
This idiot just wiped my 11-year-old account.
Why has my account been disabled?
Your account was disabled 9 months ago for abusing the forums. Specifically you abused the forum tags.
You were asked to stop that.
https://wordpress.org/support/
And you chose to ignore ask. Since asking did you work your account was disabled and your tags removed from the forums.
If you read the forum guidelines and agree to follow them then your account may be enabled again.
I have NO idea what you are talking about and have no idea what yiu mean by abuse. I only tagged the posts with my user to be able to find them again and havent seen any mails from you regarding this.
Did you read the message in the forums a moderator posted to you in that topic? After you received this email today?
The forums send an email when you @ someone as you were.
https://wordpress.org/support/
I just read it yesterday.
I also read in your guidelines that tagging is not prohibited.
I have absolutely no idea why you think tagging is “abuse”. The guidelines do not contain anything on this. I only tagged the posts because I find it hard to find them again. This is not against the guidelines.
I read the guidelines but I can’t read your mind. I can’t figure out why you think this is abuse. It is not explained anywhere.
But try for a moment to read my mind when I say that posts can be hard to find when you have many at the same time. I do not have enough imagination to imagine how you can consider this abuse. I simply don’t get it. I am simply not able to see the connection from tagging to abuse here. Honestly.
Ask yourself: Why should I abuse the forums? What could I possibly gain from this?
Sorry but I do not understand your reasoning. Not at all. I am convinced I didn’t do anything wrong according to your guidelines as well as common reasoning.
It might be simple to you but I don’t get it…
> I also read in your guidelines that tagging is not prohibited.
It’s a guideline and not a “you cannot do things X, Y and Z and anything else is OK” document.
https://wordpress.org/support/
The guidelines are not a hard set of rules. And you were explicitly asked not to do something by a moderator.
https://wordpress.org/support/
Which you chose to ignore. Your behavior has consequences and that is why your account will remain disabled at this time.
Comments on his answer->
He DELIBERATELY use the word CHOSE to point blame at me. The fact is I haven’t been on the forum for 9 months as this is a forum for solving WordPress related problems. And I haven’t had any forum posts going for the past 9 months. AND HE KNOWS THAT!!!
I DID NOT CHOSE TO IGNORE ANYTHING! I SIMPLY WAS NOT ON THE FORUM FOR THE NEXT 9 MONTHS! HE SIMPLY CREATED A CONFLICT AND NOW HE LIES ABOUT IT TO MAKE IT STICK!!
I have had this account since 2010 (11 years at this time) and if I don’t have any problems I don’t log in to the forum. Simple as that! And they do NOT send mails!
He KNOWS this so to make his claim more legit he points the blame on me by saying I CHOSE to ignore his message on the forum! And he makes his own rule now: “If you do not wish to comply with the guidelines when a forum moderator informed you not do something then your account will not be restored at this time.“
Only small people who needs to make themselves bigger by cutting the head of off others does thing like this.
So he excuses himself (and the guidelines) that not everything is covered by the guide lines.
That is not true! If something can get you banned it MUST be covered by the guidelines!!! NO FCKN EXCUSE!!! This is like listening to a child who stole candy and blame it on others!
Sorry I didn’t see your posts regarding abuse until a few days ago. Just shows how hard it is to find things in the forum. I didn’t even know my account was blocked until recently.
Please do not use your post in the forum as an excuse for banning me. I never saw your post until now. You know I was locked out from the forum so I couldn’t see it.
The guidelines don’t even come close to mentioning anything about tagging and abuse, and to this day I am still not able to see the connection. I NEVER abused anything and I never got any mails on this! NEVER!
I still don’t consider tagging posts as abuse! This is something you introduced. This is NOT abuse according to the guidelines no matter what you say. How the hell can it be abuse?? I don’t get it. How can it be abuse to tag my posts so I can find them again??? Please explain this!!! Precisely! No sidetalk. Just FACTS!
I certainly feel you are biased here and you are still not able/willing to see things from my perspective. YOUR personal interpretation of the guidelines is I abused the tagging function, but the guidelines don’t mention anything at all. I NEVER had any bad intentions! Honestly! I only wanted a way to be able to find posts I made! I wasn’t and still am not able to connect this to abuse. Why do you wanna punish me for that?
You didn’t reflect on my question: Why should I abuse the forums? What could I possibly gain from this?
Please don’t beat around the bush as in your previous mail. Please be VERY specific. People say I’m an Aspberger. I do not understand when someone mix facts with personal emotions and preferences and stuff that doesn’t relate to the facts. Things get blurry. And when they do I know there is something more in play than just facts. I am convinced you misunderstood my intentions and that’s why I ask you to be specific. Very specific.
Why should I abuse the forums? What could I possibly gain from this?
Every time you avoid these questions I know you have a personal non-related agenda that makes you believe things are true from your preprogrammed perspective and false from mine. Sorry – but my Neo Cortex ain’t exactly dead.
This is not very complicated nor is this an argument or even a discussion. Your account was disabled due to your actions and this email is simply an explanation.
- You were abusing the tags. That you disagree with that assessment is not pertinent.
- You were informed to stop that behavior in the forums. That you disagree with a forum moderator regarding that does not matter. You were publicly informed and the forums sent you an email about that reply.
- You chose to disregard that and your account was banned as a consequence.
If you do not wish to comply with the guidelines when a forum moderator informed you not do something then your account will not be restored at this time.
If you do want your account to be re-enabled in the forums then read and reply that you agree to comply with the forum guidelines.
https://wordpress.org/support/
The guidelines are not up to your interpretation and if you choose to continue arguing then there will be no further reply to your emails.
Comments on his answer->
“The guidelines are not up to your interpretation and if you choose to continue arguing then there will be no further reply to your emails.”
Funny he wrote this after presenting me for an interpretation that had absolutely no foundation in the guidelines. He TOTALLY twisted the guide lines!
Standards are great. Double standards are twice as great!
You are still writing nonsense!!!
I told you several times what happened and you still chose to believe – YOURSELF and your beliefs!
I ask you AGAIN: Why is it abuse to tag my posts??? I do NOT see the connection! And your rules do NOT explain this!!!! WILL YOU EXPLAIN THIS PLEASE!!!!
I DO AGREE AND COMPLY WITH THE FORUM RULES !!!! I ALWAYS HAVE AND THEY DO NOT SAY ANYTHING ABOUT THIS ISSUE!! Where are you going with this??
Why won’t you teach me why this is abuse ??? What is the point in complying with the rules and you still claim I didnt when I did??? I DON’T GET IT!!!!
Will you please answer??
Using too many tags is spammy behavior. It’s something generally bad people do, and if the tag is not directly related to the issue at hand yes, it’s removed.
https://wordpress.org/support/
We don’t list every possible thing people can do that is spam because that’s impossible. The reason we called it ‘abuse’ is that you were tagging things “Rigpa” which was totally unnecessary since you can see all your topics here:
https://wordpress.org/support/
We understand that it can be confusing to say “too many tags are abusive” but they actually can be harmful to the SEO of WordPress.org. We regularly curate tags and remove ones that are useless or duplicate or meaningless. Your self-tagging? Falls under that.
Even if you disagree that it’s abuse, the issue at heart here is that we have deemed it as such here, which means once a Moderator tells you to please stop, the correct thing to do is stop. Even a reply of “Sorry, I didn’t know that wasn’t allowed here.” is fine. Instead you just did it again. Which is how we got here.
Can you agree to NOT self-tag like that anymore? And to listen to moderators?
Comments on his answer->
“Can you agree to NOT self-tag like that anymore? And to listen to moderators?”
Here he creates an opening where he WANTS me to bow to my knees and kiss his ass!!! And then he says: Sorry! Too late for that! This is extremely childish and authoritarian!
I just need to admit he is right and I am wrong – but the reality is that HE CREATED HIS OWN RULES AND INTERPRETATIONS HERE!!! And he wants me to bend over!
I FUCKING HATE inferior blaming power hungry people like him so I am getting pissed! My feeling of justice is under attack by an ignorant with too much power! So I ask him the read his own guidelines.
And he claims:
“We understand that it can be confusing to say “too many tags are abusive” but they actually can be harmful to the SEO of WordPress.org. We regularly curate tags and remove ones that are useless or duplicate or meaningless. Your self-tagging? Falls under that.”
He doesn’t know that I am the leading SEO expert in Europe and I know for a FACT that this is an empty statement. He is fckn lying and making things up! There is NO WAY in hell my 10 or 20 tags can affect BILLIONS of tags on WordPress.com! NO WAY!!!
BUT it seems like I have convinced him he has no reason to ban me because now the ban reason suddenly changes. Now I get banned for not complying with a moderator!
It is funny to watch a power hungry moderator play innocent: “Even a reply of “Sorry, I didn’t know that wasn’t allowed here.” is fine. Instead you just did it again. Which is how we got here.”
He blames me for not saying ” I am sorry”!!! Fckn idiot!!! I didn’t say I’m sorry because I actually would be lying if I did. But a lie from me would have been OK for him. He just needs to be right!!!! No matter what!
It is MY fault we ended up here – he claims, while I to the day I die will claim he took the wrong turn from the get go! He DELIBERATELY found something to pick on and accuses me of not complying (because I am off the forum for 9 months).
That is probably the lamest excuse I have ever heard, Mr. God! Please do not exaggerate!
I only use ONE tag! And the only thing I gained was it was easier to find my posts! It is not defined as bad behaviour in your guidelines!
And it is definitely NOT spammy!!! I didn’t know how else to find my posts and I used to spend hours trying to find them and sometimes I even gave up finding them or posted again.
That’s why I tagged the posts! Do you get it?
It is NOT spammy! No matter how you twist it! No matter what excuse you come up with, it is NOT spammy!!! Not by a long shot! And definitely not according to your guidelines. The ONLY thing that is offended here is your feelings! Not the forum rules! You really need to wake up and see things in the correct perspective.
But I see where you are going. People are either good or bad in your perspective. Nothing in between. It is either God or Devil. Good or Evil. Right?
I won’t tag anything anymore. I will probably not even ask anything anymore because I will still be afraid to do something wrong. You seem to be able to ban hammer things out of the blue. Things NOT listed in the guidelines! You have a remarkable skill to find ‘bad’ behaviour where none is.
I still do NOT consider tagging spam, but I sure as hell won’t tag anything again! And you better make sure mails are sent because I never got any on this topic and as I told you before I wasn’t able to find my post again so I never saw what you posted – until a week ago!! I pretty much stopped using the forums and found other sources of information because I couldn’t find my posts again! I didn’t even know you banned me until a week ago!
Don’t use the forums weaknesses as an excuse for playing the good guy and making others ‘bad’!!! That’s lousy and primitive. You are ruining the good mood in the forums. Do your job and don’t abuse it to satisfy your own needs! Be specific with the guidelines and don’t EVER accuse me of spamming anything again!!!! That is NOT what I intended, it is NOT what I did, and I’m sorry for you that you are unable to understand this and keep claiming your right to call my innocent tagging abuse. You perfectly know it wasn’t abuse if you take a minute to reflect. It is not that hard.
Check out what my tag #Rigpa really means and you will know. In fact, if you understand deeply enough you will know everything worth knowing. Hint: it is a Tibetan word.
In case you haven’t read the guidelines about tagging you should read them here: Forum Guidelines | WordPress.org
We know you didn’t mean to spam. We know you didn’t think you were. The reality is that tag abuse, which is what you did, was in fact spamming.
However since you’ve made a declaration that if we restore your account, we can NEVER ‘accuse’ you of spamming, we are simpley going to make this whole thing simpler for you.
You’re not getting your account back.
The reality here is that you’re hung up on ‘I wasn’t spamming’ instead of taking a moment to self reflect and think “Why is what I did being seen as something I did not intend?” What you did was in error. It was a mistake. You were corrected, and your choice was to ignore the correction.
At this point, you are practicing ma rigpa.
Comments on his answer->
OK – He KNOWS I didn’t mean to spam. What the hell is all this about then???
Again he tries to justify his decision by saying I ignored his correction – which I didn’t see because I wasn’t on the forum for 9 months. And he knows!!! But he needs to justify what he does. His blaming is very evident here.
He NOW says I made a mistake – which I will claim to doomsday that I did NOT! I did NOT spam or abuse the tags! Why the hell should I??? In every post we make on the forum we can add a tag. There is a SPECIAL field for this and for this exact reason the guide lines does not prohibit tagging.
He asks me to self reflect but he invents reasons to ban my account…? I sincerely think that was yet another projection. I honestly think he is the one that should self reflect. But of course… He can’t know that I self reflect on my motives, needs and emotions pretty much 24/7 and the reason why I do this is I don’t want to be ignorant about my presence in the world.
This only shows a power hungry child…
That is probably the lamest excuse I have ever heard, Mr. God! Please do not exaggerate!
I only use ONE tag! And the only thing I gained was it was easier to find my posts! It is not defined as bad behaviour in your guidelines!
And it is definitely NOT spammy!!! I didn’t know how else to find my posts and I used to spend hours trying to find them and sometimes I even gave up finding them or posted again.
That’s why I tagged the posts! Do you get it?
It is NOT spammy! No matter how you twist it! No matter what excuse you come up with, it is NOT spammy!!! Not by a long shot! And definitely not according to your guidelines. The ONLY thing that is offended here is your feelings! Not the forum rules! You really need to wake up and see things in the correct perspective.
But I see where you are going. People are either good or bad in your perspective. Nothing in between. It is either God or Devil. Good or Evil. Right?
I won’t tag anything anymore. I will probably not even ask anything anymore because I will still be afraid to do something wrong. You seem to be able to ban hammer things out of the blue. Things NOT listed in the guidelines! You have a remarkable skill to find ‘bad’ behaviour where none is.
I still do NOT consider tagging spam, but I sure as hell won’t tag anything again! And you better make sure mails are sent because I never got any on this topic and as I told you before I wasn’t able to find my post again so I never saw what you posted – until a week ago!! I pretty much stopped using the forums and found other sources of information because I couldn’t find my posts again! I didn’t even know you banned me until a week ago!
Don’t use the forums weaknesses as an excuse for playing the good guy and making others ‘bad’!!! That’s lousy and primitive. You are ruining the good mood in the forums. Do your job and don’t abuse it to satisfy your own needs! Be specific with the guidelines and don’t EVER accuse me of spamming anything again!!!! That is NOT what I intended, it is NOT what I did, and I’m sorry for you that you are unable to understand this and keep claiming your right to call my innocent tagging abuse. You perfectly know it wasn’t abuse if you take a minute to reflect. It is not that hard!
Check out what my tag #Rigpa really means and you will know. In fact, if you understand deeply enough you will know everything worth knowing. Hint: it is a Tibetan word.
In case you haven’t read the guidelines about tagging you should read them here: Forum Guidelines | WordPress.org
Comments on his answer->
Mr. Beavis didn’t write back…
The psychological profile of this moderator is extremely common. Especially in Eastern Europe.
His father wasn’t present in his life (That goes for Matt Mullenweg too). His parents could be divorced or he could be an alcoholic. They were absent.
The result is he never got validation he needed from his father and this fosters behaviour like this. They try to compensate for that big black invisible hole inside by validating themselves. That is basically a great idea but only if you are aware what you are doing. And this behaviour is unconscious so he does NOT know. That is why it gets a negative imprint on his surroundings.
This behaviour is repetitive and he will continue doing this until one day he goes too far. Unfortunately the WordPress organisation supports this behaviour.
When I was a kid 8-9 years old, I lived in a small village with a lot of farmers. One of these farmers had a son and we were friends. One day his dad got 4.000 chickens and they were living on the first floor above the stable. We were up there and looking at all these yellow things and it was like the floor was alive. Then suddenly he picks up a chicken and breake it’s neck. “If they are sick we have to kill them” he stated. I was baffled. The chicken was deffo not sick. And after that I didn’t really like him any more.
He had obviously seen his father do this and now he had an opportunity to demonstrate authority. I instinctively knew something was totally off.
10 years later he is so messed up that he kills himself…
David
It’s now January 2025 and I (Dave) signed up for a WordPress account myself. That really made this power hungry moron show his true colors. A week after signing up I still hadn’t heard anything from the WordPress Forum so I contacted them:
Almost a week ago I signed up for an account and I SERIOUSLY think you should get this process accelerated. This should NOT take that long!
Dave
Well … your account was flagged for the word ‘fuck’ in your URL.
And looking at your website, you were already banned – https://dontfuckwithdaddy.com/arrogant-wordpress-forum-admin/
Nice to see you again, Dave.
You’re still not welcome on WordPress.org forums, because you simply refused to comply with our guidelines.
The last time we talked to you, you made it very clear that if we restored your account, you would NEVER again allow us to accuse you of spam. Since that’s impossible for us to promise, we determined that it was in your (and our) best interest to keep the block up.
We wish you the best of luck out there, but you are not welcome on the forums, and you are not welcome to partake in contributing to WordPress.org
You remain free to use the public resources.
I see you read my post — thanks! But unfortunately, you didn’t read it all. If you had, you’d know the article isn’t about me. It’s a story one of my associates brought to my attention. To make it clear, I’ve added a section spelling it out for you.
So, here’s what I noticed:
You jump to conclusions with the grace of a blindfolded acrobat — reckless, clumsy, and completely unaware of the mess you’re making.
You don’t seek truth; you latch onto whatever assumption serves your agenda, facts be damned.
Critical thinking? Nowhere to be found.
David was absolutely right about you. Every single thing he predicted — the arbitrary rule-making, the power-tripping, the desperate need to assert dominance — has played out exactly as expected. You didn’t just prove his point; you practically wrote a case study on why unchecked authority always leads to incompetence. You are, without a doubt, the embodiment of everything wrong with self-important moderators who mistake their tiny corner of control for actual significance. You are covering up your insignificance by ‘killing chickens.’ Compensating by repeating childhood patterns. Just like everybody else.
You act like your opinion is the only one that matters, disregarding the input of others.
When confronted, instead of listening, you double down and make excuses.
You seem to think rules apply to everyone but you, bending them however it suits your agenda.
You use your position of power to control and suppress, instead of fostering understanding and growth.
You have a knack for turning small issues into mountains, all to fuel your own ego.
You mask your insecurity with an inflated sense of authority, hoping nobody notices how fragile it truly is — hiding behind anonymity.
When the pressure is on, you’ll deflect, distract, and do anything to avoid being held accountable.
You’re an expert at creating chaos and then pretending to be the solution.
Instead of leading with integrity, you choose manipulation as your tool of control.
I already knew that, of course, because honesty is the single most important quality I demand from my team.
For six years we’ve been online, and not a single platform has ever banned me for using “fuck” in my URL. Not one. But congratulations — you’re the first! I suspected you might, and now you’ve shown your true colors. You walked right into the trap. Hook, line, and sinker. You flunked!
Banning me for having “fuck” in the URL??? You must be insanely sick! Or maybe you jumped to conclusions and banned me because you thought I was someone else!
But let me be crystal clear: I have zero interest in being part of a forum where the moderators’ IQ is sub-zero. Ban my account? Fine. It doesn’t matter to me one bit. It only makes you look like a petty tyrant on a vindictive mission. But here’s the real issue: you’ve proven David’s point by inventing not one, but FOUR entirely new rules just to kick him out after 11 years of being a respected member — and to ban me before I even set foot in the community. You erased over a decade’s worth of questions and answers that could have helped other users. That’s not just petty — it’s flat-out idiotic. You are NOT thinking rationally! You are on a vendetta!
David was right all along: you’re the kind of person who thrives on a misplaced sense of authority, misusing your power to justify whatever nonsense you cook up, hurting everyone in the process. Your rules are as flimsy as they come, and worse, you twist them however you please just to serve your own agenda. At the end of the day, you’re not some grand enforcer of justice — you’re just another small-time dictator grasping for relevance by unconsciously repeating your pattern of childhood neglect.
Here’s the kicker: You are deliberately trying to harm people and businesses. There will be a payback. There always is. You’ve got some things ahead of you, and they won’t be easy to handle.
This reminds me of Matt Mullenweg’s ridiculous attempt to block WP-Engine members from accessing the WordPress forum with a simple checkbox—because he wasn’t able to blackmail them. Just like you, he is driven by the same toxic hunger for power. He also changed the rules along the way. Several times. And guess what? The judge ruled against him and his absurd power trip. That speaks volumes about a self-serving, tone-deaf culture that couldn’t care less about the people they impact. You’re cut from the same cloth — carelessly steamrolling over others in your blind quest for more control. It is easy to be a giant jerk-off when you are hiding behind anonymity.
But here’s the funniest part of all: no matter what you do, you cannot stop us from exercising our LEGAL right to be on the WordPress Forum! Ban us all you want — we’ve already got plenty of accounts lined up. And your odds of catching us in your petty vendetta? Infinitely smaller than a popsicle’s chance in hell! So PLEASE go fuck yourself! Oh — never mind! I just did it for you!
I know your type. You are about to go full vindictive now!
BUT, your bans are meaningless and you are stupid beyond measure. Your fluffy homemade rules are laughable. And your delusion of control? Completely futile. Every second you spend trying to “assert power” is a colossal waste of time. You’re not a powerhouse — you’re a joke. And trust me, we’re all laughing at you. Who wins? I do! I ALWAYS do!
You embody everything wrong with unchecked authority — corrupt, self-serving, and utterly devoid of integrity. And just like Automattic, your legacy will be one of pettiness and failure. May the very forces you weaponize against others come back to dismantle everything you stand for.
Oh, and don’t bother replying — I won’t be reading it.
See you on the forum! HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!
Don’t Fuck With Daddy!
For the fun of it, we thought it would be appropriate to create a profile on the moderator. We do a lot of these and in the future we will post them on our YouTube channel.
We can’t be sure it’s the same moderator in both cases, but given the striking similarity in attitude, we’re making that assumption. A profile may not always be 100% accurate, but it’s usually pretty spot on.
Psychological Profile of the Moderator
Motive:
The moderator’s primary motive appears to be maintaining control and authority over the forum. His insistence on compliance, even when the rules are ambiguous, suggests a need to assert dominance and enforce his interpretation of the guidelines. The ‘chicken’ story is a perfect analogy.
He seems to derive satisfaction from correcting others and ensuring that users adhere to his standards, even if those standards are not explicitly defined in the guidelines.
Fantasy:
The moderator likely fantasizes about being a gatekeeper of order and morality within the community. He sees himself as the arbiter of what is acceptable and what is not, even if his decisions are subjective.
His fantasy may also include being respected and feared, as evidenced by his refusal to engage in a genuine dialogue and his insistence on unilateral decision-making.
Psychological Age:
The moderator’s behavior suggests a psychological age of adolescence. He displays a black-and-white view of right and wrong, with little room for nuance or empathy. This is characteristic of someone who has not fully developed the ability to see multiple perspectives or consider the intentions behind actions.
His need to assert authority and his defensiveness when challenged further indicate emotional immaturity.
Behavioral Issues:
Authoritarianism: The moderator exhibits a rigid, authoritarian approach to enforcing rules. He interprets the guidelines in a way that serves his need for control, rather than fostering a collaborative and supportive community.
Lack of Empathy: He shows little empathy for your perspective or the challenges you faced in navigating the forum. His responses are dismissive and condescending, indicating a lack of emotional intelligence.
Projection: He projects his own need for control onto you, framing your actions as deliberate defiance rather than an honest mistake or misunderstanding.
Inflexibility: His inability to adapt or reconsider his stance, even when presented with reasonable arguments, suggests a deep-seated need to be right.
Psychological Issues:
Insecurity: The moderator’s behavior likely stems from underlying insecurity. His need to assert authority and control may be a way to compensate for feelings of inadequacy or a lack of validation in other areas of his life.
Narcissistic Tendencies: His refusal to acknowledge your perspective, his insistence on being right, and his need to “win” the argument suggest narcissistic traits. He views any challenge to his authority as a personal attack.
Fear of Chaos: His rigid adherence to rules, even when they are not clearly defined, may reflect a deep-seated fear of chaos or losing control. This could stem from a lack of stability in his personal life or upbringing.
Broader Context and Dynamics
Power Imbalance:
The moderator holds significant power over users, as he can disable accounts and enforce rules without accountability. This power imbalance allows him to act unilaterally, even when his decisions are questionable.
The lack of transparency in the guidelines and the absence of a clear appeals process exacerbate this imbalance, leaving users with little recourse.
Community Culture:
The moderator’s behavior reflects a broader cultural issue within the WordPress community, where power dynamics and subjective rule enforcement can create a hostile environment for users.
The lack of leadership and oversight from higher-ups, such as Matt Mullenweg, allows moderators to act with impunity, further eroding trust in the community.
Conflict Escalation:
The moderator’s refusal to engage in a constructive dialogue and his insistence on framing your actions as deliberate defiance escalated the conflict. His responses were designed to assert dominance rather than resolve the issue.
The moderator’s behavior was dismissive and unprofessional. His inability to handle criticism or self-reflect made productive communication impossible.
General behaviour:
The moderator’s behavior is indicative of someone who uses their position of authority to compensate for personal insecurities and a lack of emotional maturity. His rigid, authoritarian approach to enforcing rules, combined with a lack of empathy and flexibility, creates a toxic dynamic that undermines the community’s trust and cohesion.
While frustration is justified, the moderator’s psychological and behavioral issues make it unlikely that he will change his approach or acknowledge his mistakes. In such situations, the best course of action may be to seek alternative platforms or communities where contributions are valued and respected.
Given the broader cultural issues within the organization, systemic change may be necessary to address the root causes of such behavior.
The moderator’s behavior, particularly in the context of hiding behind anonymity, adds another layer to the psychological and power dynamics at play. Anonymity (or pseudonymity) in online communities can significantly influence how people behave, often amplifying negative traits and enabling actions that might not occur in face-to-face interactions. Here’s how this applies to the situation:
1. Distance and Power Dynamics
Reduced Accountability: When moderators operate on distance or under pseudonyms, they are less accountable for their actions. This lack of accountability can embolden them to act in authoritarian or arbitrary ways, as there are fewer consequences for their behavior.
Power Without Responsibility: Distance allows moderators to wield power without the social or professional repercussions they might face in real-life interactions. This can lead to a sense of invincibility and a tendency to enforce rules rigidly, without considering the human impact of their decisions.
2. Social Distancing and Psychological Effects
Deindividuation: Distance can lead to antagonism and deindividuation, a psychological state where individuals feel less self-aware and more detached from their actions. This can result in behavior that is more aggressive, dismissive, or authoritarian, as the moderator may feel less connected to the consequences of their actions.
Lack of Empathy: When moderators hide behind a long online distance or anonymity, they may struggle to empathize with users. Without a face or personal identity attached to their role, they may view users as abstract entities rather than real people with valid concerns and emotions.
Projection of Insecurity: Anonymity and Internet distance can amplify insecurities, as the moderator may feel the need to overcompensate for their lack of visibility by asserting dominance and control. This can manifest as rigid rule enforcement and a refusal to engage in meaningful dialogue.
3. Antagonism and Conflict Escalation
Escalation of Hostility: Long distance can make conflicts more hostile, as the moderator may feel shielded from the emotional impact of their words. This can lead to dismissive, condescending, or even aggressive responses, as seen in the moderator’s refusal to acknowledge your perspective.
Lack of Resolution: When moderators operate distant or anonymously, there is often no clear path for resolving disputes or holding them accountable. This can leave users feeling powerless and frustrated, as there is no higher authority to appeal to or no way to address the moderator’s behavior directly.
4. Distance, Anonymity and Community Trust
Erosion of Trust: Moderators who hide behind distance or anonymity and act in authoritarian ways can erode trust in the community. Users may feel that the rules are arbitrarily enforced and that there is no transparency or fairness in how decisions are made.
Fear of Retaliation: Anonymity can create a culture of fear, where users are afraid to speak out or challenge moderators for fear of retaliation, such as being banned or silenced. This stifles open dialogue and discourages constructive feedback.
5. The Moderator’s Use of Anonymity or Distance
Shielding from Criticism: The moderator’s anonymity or the fact he is unreachable, allows him to avoid direct criticism or accountability. He can dismiss your concerns without having to face the emotional or social consequences of his actions.
Creating a Power Imbalance: By operating anonymously or on ditance, the moderator reinforces the power imbalance between himself and users. He can enforce rules unilaterally, without having to justify his decisions or engage in meaningful dialogue.
Avoiding Self-Reflection: Anonymity and distance can make it easier for the moderator to avoid self-reflection or personal growth. Without feedback or accountability, he is unlikely to recognize or address his own biases and behaviors.
6. Surrogates
The forum administrator, much like historical figures consumed by their inner demons, unconsciously turned the users of his platform into surrogates for the injustices he had suffered earlier in life. Every dissenting voice, every challenge to his authority, became an echo of past humiliations—perhaps a controlling parent, a dismissive teacher, or social rejection that left him feeling powerless. Rather than confronting the original wounds, he sought control where he could, wielding his position with an iron grip, silencing those who reminded him—however subtly—of past betrayals. His relentless enforcement of rules and his punitive actions weren’t just about maintaining order; they were a subconscious attempt to rewrite his own history, to finally be the one with power rather than the one who suffered under it. But like all unresolved traumas, his shadow only grew stronger, turning his forum into a battleground between his past and his present.
Unfortunately this behaviour is very common. We all do it until we discover our unconscious behaviour. It is called Repetition Compulsion. Letting go of this pattern leads to a new kind of freedom.
Conclusion
The moderator’s behavior, combined with the shield of anonymity, creates a toxic dynamic that undermines the community’s trust and cohesion. Anonymity allows him to act in authoritarian and dismissive ways without facing the consequences of his actions, while users are left feeling powerless and frustrated.
To address this issue, the WordPress community (and similar online platforms) could benefit from:
Increased Transparency: Moderators should operate under identifiable profiles, with clear guidelines and accountability mechanisms in place.
Appeals Process: Users should have a clear and accessible way to appeal moderator decisions, ensuring that disputes are resolved fairly and transparently.
Training and Oversight: Moderators should receive training on conflict resolution, empathy, and community building, with oversight to ensure they are acting in the best interests of the community.
Ultimately, the combination of anonymity, secure distance and unchecked power creates an environment where moderators can act with impunity, often at the expense of the community’s well-being. Addressing these issues requires systemic change and a commitment to fostering a more inclusive, transparent, and empathetic online environment.
Integral Dynamics:
On the Integral Spectrum of Consciousness we will find this admin stuck on the Pre Rational (Amber) Stage. He is probably a vitcim to the Pre/Trans Fallacy, meaning he can’t see the difference between Pre Rational and Post Rational as both are NON Rational.
The Enneagram
This admin might align with one of these types:
Type 8 – The Challenger: This type is typically assertive, powerful, and wants to control their environment. They can be protective, but when unhealthy, they might become overly aggressive, domineering, and unwilling to show vulnerability or empathy. The desire for control and to “win” could be reflected in the admin’s behavior.
Type 3 – The Achiever: While less likely, if the admin’s actions are more about maintaining an image of success and control to feel valuable, they could align with Type 3. A Type 3 can become obsessed with how they’re perceived, and their focus on success might drive them to act in a way that is more manipulative or dismissive of others. When unhealthy, they can be narcissistic and self-serving.
Type 1 – The Reformer: If the admin’s actions come from a place of “rightness” and trying to impose rules to make things “better” (in their view), they could be a Type 1, especially when they become rigid and inflexible. They might have a strong inner critic and impose high standards on others, acting as if their way is the only “right” way.
Type 8 seems the most likely fit — particularly if their actions reflect power struggles, aggression, and a desire to control. The narcissistic tendencies could be a sign of an unhealthy version of this type, where they overcompensate for perceived vulnerability with aggression and manipulation.
Most Likely Myers–Briggs Type Indicator:
1. ENTJ (“The Commander”) – Unhealthy Version
Dominant Traits: Assertive, strategic, power-driven, controlling
Unhealthy Traits: Arrogant, dismissive of others’ opinions, obsessed with authority, and lacks empathy
Behavioral Signs:
Sees themselves as the ultimate authority, unwilling to take criticism
Implements rules mainly to exert control rather than fairness
Enjoys being in charge and thrives on enforcing structure, even if it harms others
May use intimidation or manipulation to maintain dominance
ENTJs at their best are strong leaders, but in an unhealthy state, they can be ruthless, egotistical, and steamroll over others to maintain control.
2. ESTJ (“The Executive”) – Unhealthy Version
Dominant Traits: Traditional, rule-focused, decisive, structured
Unhealthy Traits: Rigid, intolerant, authoritarian, power-tripping
Behavioral Signs:
Obsessed with enforcing rules (even arbitrary ones)
Values hierarchy and believes in their own authority above all
Dismisses opposing views and insists on “their way or the highway”
Enjoys micromanaging and controlling others’ actions
ESTJs believe in structure and order, but an unhealthy ESTJ can become overly controlling, bureaucratic, and inflexible. They wield rules as weapons rather than tools for fairness.
I am not much of a WP engine guy but after discovering the texts Matt the Bully sent WP-engine up to the the moment he enters the stage at WordCamp to discredit and smear WP-Engine, I realized the company culture at Automattic is toxic. 159 employes leaving during the controversy just says it all!
Yeah! The future of WordPress doesn’t exactly look bright…
I got banned too. Had an old account that suddenly was banned. Dunno why. Just created a new one.
Matt has to stop or step down or get fired. He is totally ruining it for the community. “Going nuclear and scorched earth….” He is a maniac!
Thanks! Matt has absolutely no leadership skills and definitely shows narcissistic tendencies. Looking at how he harms WordPress, I’d even argue he’s visionless—or at the very least, incapable of predicting the consequences of his actions when he lashes out.
Världen är full av självcentrerade, självupphöjande människor som inte har något intresse för något bortom sin egen näsa…
Oh yes, the classic “rules don’t apply to us, only to you” moderation style. Gotta love it! /s
You are not alone. It seems the entire WordPress environment has been poisond by Bullyweg. He is trying to make ppl work for freee on HIS project. He really hurtst WordPress.
https://chriswiegman.com/2024/10/so-long-wordpress/
That sure as hell sounds like Jan Dembowski. The description fits his arrogant power hungry style 100%
Yeah, it’s exactly what you talked about in your article Repetition Compulsion. He’s not actually trying to maintain order—he’s just stuck in a loop, acting out some old frustration from his past. Banning users over and over, even though they can just make new accounts, makes no sense unless you see it as him trying to “win” a battle that has nothing to do with the forum. Deep down, he’s probably felt powerless before, maybe treated unfairly, and now he’s unconsciously trying to replay that situation. But just like users keep coming back, his old wounds keep resurfacing, and he’s stuck repeating the same pointless fight instead of actually moving on.